One company, two product lines, two outcomes. Today we’re comparing the Xbox One to the Microsoft Surface Tablet, ladies…
In which James gets crazy and compares the Xbox One to the Microsoft Surface Tablet.
Let me know how you like the article!
I’ll never forget the first time I heard Eminem.
I was in the 11th grade. This was in the dark days before YouTube, Shazaam and all that high tech business. Eminem’s “My Name Is” came on the radio. I remembered this track - the irreverent lyrics, the don’t-give-a-fuck attitude, the already-dated references to Pamela Anderson - all of it. It was like a joke, some kid’s retaliatory look back at school and stupid-ass teachers from hell. Yet somehow it struck a chord in me. I didn’t know what this song was until a few days later, when the radio DJ made the introduction:
And now, “My Name Is” - by M&M.
"What?" I thought. "M&M? Like the candy?"
On first listen, I immediately thought this rapper - or should I say, this jokester - was African-American. Not a Caucasian golden boy with platinum blond hair. This was in the days when access to music videos was limited to what you saw on TV. Imagine my surprise when somebody told me Eminem was white! Whaaaaat?
It wasn’t like I was brought up to think that hip-hop or street culture belonged to one race. The Beastie Boys were established elder statesmen. We had some faux-rap groups like Linkin Park and Limp Bizkit. My surprise stemmed from Eminem’s attitude. There was something about his bravado and use of comic imagery that made me think…African-American rapper.
I had no idea at the time that Marshall Mathers was an underground freestyle legend from Detroit, that his radio singles were scratching the surface of his talents or that he would go on to release one of the great rap albums in recent memory.
I just thought Eminem was cool and funny. Maybe a one hit wonder?
People like to extol the virtues of focus - whether it’s on an assignment, on life priorities or getting that beach body before summer.
There is a smorgasbord of literature and theory out there about how to focus. To-do lists, turning off the Internet, meditation, inbox zero - there are a billion-and-one ways to achieve laser-like focus, so I won’t get into that here.
Instead, I’d like to challenge you to think about what the outcome of being focused looks like. In other words, how will you know that you’ve achieved the focus you want?
For Agile/Scrum practitioners, a geekier way to ask the question is - what is the acceptance criteria of being focused? How will I know that I’ve reached my destination?
Here’s what I think being focused looks like:
So that’s my list - what’s YOUR criteria for being focused? I’d love to know.
Facebook is life. Life is Facebook.
Listen closely. I’m going to tell you how to be, like, the most successful person ever!
"Master Facebook and you master the world." — some really famous dude.
1. "Like" liberally. “Like” everything. Every update, every photo, certainly every fan page. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It doesn’t matter if what they post is stupid, is obscene or even in a language that you can’t read.
Out of sight, out of mind, amirite? You need to tell your FRIENDS that you’re there, always creeping on their posts, always there to offer a supporting “Like” so that you can validate their existence. Chances are, they’ll reciprocate.
If you only follow one rule on this list, it’s this one. Thank me later.
2. FOOD FOOD FOOD NOM NOM NOM. The second cardinal rule of Facebook is - always be eating. And if you’re eating, always be posting dem FOODIE PICS.
Astound your FRIENDS with a visual orgasm of your best food. It doesn’t matter if the food is actually crap or you don’t say anything about what you just ate or that you just had ramen for 5 days straight so that you can afford this fancy meal extravaganza.
The secret rule of Facebook is - you want to make your FRIENDS jealous of your life. And everybody needs to eat. So brag that food non-stop, baby!
3. Avoid making any political or remotely controversial statements.
Food pictures = MASSIVE LIKE-AGE.
Baby pictures = MASSIVE LIKE-AGE.
Profound statements about life and politics = HUGE TURN OFF.
People log into Facebook to be jealous of other people. Don’t bore them with stuff that’s, like, really happening in the world, y’know? Are you out of your mind? Remember, people come to Facebook for the L-O-Ls. They don’t want to be reminded that there are REAL PROBLEMS out there!!
Keep that reality distortion field going, my FRIEND!!
4. Avoid complaining about Facebook, on Facebook. I mean, DUDE. Take your complaints somewhere else. Take it to Google Plus or Twitter or some other hack social network that is way less cool. See Rule #3 - people want to escape to Facebook. They don’t want to know that there are privacy issues or that they have too many friends or that people are spamming YOUR feed with Benedict Cumberbatch. Yeah…as if.
I mean, privacy issues? Who cares, right? Google has your life history too! Ten of my FRIENDS who complained about some supposed breach of privacy on Facebook kept using it, THE DAY AFTER. They just needed to vent, those selfish bastards. None of your FRIENDS are gonna call you out on it, because they NEED you, but they’re gonna remember. People got loooooooong memories.
5. Constantly brag about your achievements. Just do it! Don’t worry about “humble bragging,” a.k.a. passive-aggressive bragging. Who has time for that?? Humble brags require wit, elevated eloquence, some modicum of thinking. Just brag it out, bee-yotch.
Just ran a half marathon? Check.
Just ran 150 flights of stairs? Check.
Just visited 2 countries in 5 days? Check.
Just watched the midnight premiere of «INSERT SUPER-HYPED MOVIE HERE»? Check.
Oh wait, I did all of those things on Facebook. Crud. Undo this rule.
6. Post stuff that is so mysterious that NOBODY knows what you’re talking about. You’ve seen this, right? Your FRIENDS who post a quasi-sentence that says absolutely nothing. Nada. Zilch.
"My life is such a mess right now."
-> THANKS FOR SHARING
"Sometimes the small things in life really matter."
-> THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID
"The threat of my elixir is the combatant to your destiny."
-> ARE YOU HIGH?
There is a risk that you come off as extremely emo, but if you play your cards right, you’ll get 10000x the attention! Your FRIENDS will be fawning over your sentence, commenting on it (“WTF did you just do, BRO???”), granting it extreme LIKE-AGE and you’ll be the talk of the town.
This is one of those secret playbook things, though. Can’t overdo it or your FRIENDS may not like you anymore.
Pro tip: it’s REALLY effective if you go dark (NO UPDATES, BRAH) for months at a time, and then come back to Facebook with these nuggets, and BAM!! International Facebooker of Mystery!
7. Never take anything you read seriously on Facebook.
Just re-watched the last four episodes of “House of Cards,” and feel compelled to make a list. Away we go!
1. Frank Underwood’s monologues. It’s awesome when Kevin Spacey talks directly to the camera. It perfectly demonstrates Underwood’s inner voice and penchant for showmanship. Plus, Spacey’s expressions are nuanced and That Damn Good. More shows need to do this.
2. Peter Russo. We all love watching flawed characters, and Russo’s rise and fall is one of the best arcs in the show. He’s a genuine proponent of his community yet enslaved by his personal demons. The way that Russo knows he’s headed for a train wreck is tragic. It broke my heart to see his fall.
3. The journalistic drive for The Truth. In the end, the triumvirate of Zoe Barnes, Janine Skorsky and Lucas Goodwin put their differences aside to break the ultimate story. It’s great to see people united for a common cause, in an obsessive-compulsive way. It really speaks to the strength of the ensemble cast that the characters are made believable.
4. The needs of the few outweigh the many. In corporations, it’s the guys at the top that call the shots. In Washington it’s no different. We get exposed to the inner workings at the top and how a few key influencers shape the destiny of the country. The human element is what makes this show; it’s all about who you know.
5. The ending. Love the open-ended nature of HoC’s ending. Is Underwood in trouble or will he persevere? Will the Truth set us free? The show doesn’t wrap it up in a neat little package; better to let viewers draw their own conclusions, anyway.